What to Expect when the Red Queen's Expecting
by Iracabeth.of.Crims.3118
Summary: a riff on my first story. basically, Ilosovic is here for Racie's pregnancy and he has to put up with her for 9 months. scarlett's origins.
1. Chapter 1

"Oh, Ilosovic..." Iracebeth slurred, under the influence of alcohol, to the point where her legs could no longer carry her, "make me scream." The knave was lying beside her in her huge canopy bed. They'd both had more than their fair share of booze, and were going at it. big time.

"Yes, your majesty." at the queen's orders, he thrust himself into her harder than the king ever had when he was alive, harder than anyone ever did. and scream she did. they kissed passionately multiple times afterward. then he started to kiss and bite her breasts. she clawed at his back. eventually they broke the bed, but were too drunk to notice. after both of them reached their climaxes, they fell asleep listening to their breathing.

* * *

"STAYNE! YOU BROKE MY BED!" shrieked Iracebeth. Ilosovic woke up with a hangover. "what? oh no." he said. both he and the queen were stark naked. "this didn't happen." he thought.

"majesty, why don't we get you a new, better bed?" he asked. God, this woman was annoying. but she perked up and went back to usual after that. she wanted only the best for herself.

* * *

one week later, the queen was sore afflicted with headaches and nausea. the courtiers were getting really nervous, because her temper was more unpredictable than before. Ilosovic, who was really sick of all this, got her a doctor to see what's wrong with her, and after he tranquilized her, he took a sample of her blood. when she revived, he told her her hormone levels were higher than usual, suggesting pregnancy, then asking if she was sexually active. "oh. shit." she thought.

"do you know who the father is?" the doctor asked. this pissed her off, and she said "OF COURSE I KNOW WHO THE FATHER IS! I'M NOT AN IDIOT! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!" the doctor was executed the next day for "treason." she never told anyone why.

* * *

ilosovic had no clue what happened. why did she execute the doctor? why was she so weird after that one night? he decided to coax the truth out of her somehow. when she was sitting on her throne, he went up to her, kissed her hand, and asked if there was anything wrong. the answer was shocking.

"OF COURSE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG! THAT NIGHT WHEN _YOU_ BROKE MY BED, _YOU_ KNOCKED ME UP! I'M CARRYING _YOUR_ CHILD FOR THE NEXT NINE MONTHS!" his jaw dropped. then she started crying. "i...i never thought i'd be able to carry a child again. not when _he _punched my first one out of me. that's why i executed him. he...he killed my baby. i don't want to screw up."

Ilosovic's eye widened. he'd never seen this side of her or heard this story about the king. Now he was glad that the bastard was dead. He felt like the child was his responsibility, but the queen being the mother!? forget it! he took her hand. "we'll figure this out together." he forced on a smile. maybe things would work out after all. "to tell you the truth, I've always wanted to be a father. "will you do me the honor of sleeping with me until you get your new bed?" some honor, sleeping with a crazy bitch, but she was emotional, and he wanted to help her. she nodded, wiping away a tear.


	2. Chapter 2

4 weeks later...

The queen got her new bed, leaving Ilosovic. She spent a lot of time on her porcelain throne rather than her normal one. It was amazing, she thought, how this little tadpole sized snip of a thing inside her made her urinate so much! Ilosovic was trying to put up with her, as she was tired and moody all the time. Once, she stayed in bed all day, because she didn't want to get dressed; her breasts were sore. She slept more than ever, and more often than not, missed morning execution. She was obviously NOT a happy camper.

Finally on her 6th week, she started to get morning sickness. She didn't pee as much, but she lost her appetite for a while and lost a couple pounds. She gained them back in a matter of days, but she wasn't showing yet. Even though she wasn't, she could feel her clothes get tighter. The smell of the tarts for afternoon tea made her really nauseous and sent her running to the restroom.

Ilosovic visited her from time to time, catering to her whims, but there weren't many, as she was asleep a lot. Finally, he decided to go talk to her about the baby. He knocked on the door to her room. "Who is it?" she drawled.

"Stayne." he said.

"C'mere, babydaddy!" she was grinning when he walked in. "I'm scared." she said, her mood swinging back to it's vulnerable side. "I've been having nightmares."

"About what?"

"The...the King."

"Why, do you feel bad about having him executed?" she burst into tears at this remark. "No, no it's not that...I'm scared, because he killed my first baby. My little Rose... See, he was a madman, not like people here are used to, and when he got me pregnant-"

"You two were sexually active?" Ilosovic asked in disbelief.

"He raped me. Anyway, when I was around 7 weeks, he hit me with his scepter until I got a miscarriage. I had to avenge my little Rose." at the word, "Rose," she went into even more hysterics and grabbed him, pulling him into a hug. "It's ok, Majesty, I won't hurt our baby. We'll work this out together. We'll raise it together. I'll be by your side every step of the way."

"You...you will?" she wiped a tear off and looked up at him.

"Yes, my father was an abusive alcoholic. He killed my mother, so I ran away and joined your court. I want to prove myself that I'm not like him. Besides, the oraculum states that Alice can only be defeated by an heir of the Red queen."

Iracebeth jerked her head back up. "Then let's do this. Alice is so going to be defeated by my daughter and-"

"Daughter?"

"Yeah, I can feel that it's a girl. I'm willing to bet."

"Bet what?" asked Ilosovic.

"If our baby is a daughter, which it will be, you'll have to marry me a month after she's born. If I'm wrong, you get to get me out of power. I'm awful, I know I am. I cry over my executions when they're over with..."

"I want our child to have a mother." he said. "I'm not willing to sacrifice that no matter who she is."

"Get in the bath, you knave..." she smirked seductively. They made out in the bath, and she didn't have anymore nightmares about her husband.


End file.
